Step Back Inside.

Here comes some white to offset all the black I've been ranting about.
Here comes karma.
Here comes something to look forward to.

Mr. Rubik, your puzzle has been solved.

The contrast between black and white...

"Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white" - The Counting Crows in Round Here.

Black and white... The best way to describe the past two months! White, then black and white, and then a big load of black is what happened.

Loving every second of your life can be a very tricky situation. Because you start wondering why and how it's happening, and then you ask yourself if it's as true and real as you think it is. Until something happens and you realize that it's been sort of helped along by a big bunch of bullshit.
A few discoveries that are incidental at first, then become targets of your unwinding obsession. Lies you've been suspicious of at first, and that were confirmed to you one after the other, sequentially, relentlessly, and repeatedly, until you just burst in frustration and helplessness. And you realize: So that's what it feels like!

Why is it that happiness always needs to be second-guessed, questioned, and put on on trial before it can be credible enough to be enjoyed, and shared?

Why is happiness so multi-disciplinary? so dependent on so many things and? and why does it have so many facets? I think that it's like that so people can hold it like some sort of a Rubik's cube and orient it in such a way to see only the positive parts, only those facets where all the colors match, and lie to themselves about still having to sort out the others. 

Well I have choked on your lies for long enough. 

I can take no more...

Blind Item

Weather Conflict! LoL

Is there such a thing as an accurate weather forecast?? Yahoo, get your act together!! There's no sun out today! And yesterday wasn't better!

And why is this weekend so gloomy???? Beach plans gone south for the second day in a row!

Of Seaside Mornings

Beirut, Lebanon - February 2011

There's something about the sea during the morning hours. 

If you're a morning person - or an insomniac, of course - then I suggest a nice cup of coffee at the coast. 

Nothing better to clear your mind and get ready for an anticipated stressful day at work!

Location:Corniche

Blind Item...

I've been waiting for 25 minutes for a 4 and a half minute YouTube video to load. It's half way there. Fingers crossed... I might take a break or a shower in the meantime... 512Kbps my @## :)

Will Play for Tips

Hamra, Lebanon - June 2010

A pleasant sight and sound near AUH, where all we see all day are abused children begging you to give them money or buy lottery tickets. 

I have to sing for me to live

a job for me is out of reach

so come on by and hear a tune

I will sing for a bit of tips

Sidewalk in Hamra

Hamra, Lebanon - June 2010

This is a response to "Sidewalk in Achrafieh" Posted on Blog Baladi a few days a go. I said I'd have a pic of sidewalks in Hamra for comparison... well here's what I was talking about...

Try negotiating the parked vehicles and avoiding the garbage juices on this lovely piece of Hamra property... Square footage pricing? Let's not mention that...

Stay tuned for sidewalks with construction material and bulldozers... Coming soon!

Blind Item

I snapped this photo of the Lebanese Norwegian Cultural Week poster...
A funny twist!

What's Lebanon's Stance on Slavery and Racism Again??

So here's another lie us self-righteous Lebanese tend to force feed ourselves. We don't condone slavery. We turn our backs to racism. Right?

Think again...

To your right is a nice classified ad for the exchange of a 1991 Dodge for a Sri Lankan domestic worker.

Please read No Maids in the Pool.

[Edit:This is to clarify that the classified is NOT in a Lebanese paper].

What more do we need? how much more disgrace, how much clearer does this picture need to be for the Lebanese to just shut the hell up and realize that we are probably the most self-absorbed, superficial, and prejudiced (oh yeah the list goes on...) people on the face of this planet?

I can only try and say how dumbfounded I was when I saw that classified. And in light of the no maids in pool article I can tell that it's only a matter of time before we find a few like these in our Lebanese media.

I really thought I'd have so much to say about this matter, so much to talk about and criticize, so many questions and so much eloquent rhetoric. Instead, I have only speechlessness, disbelief, and shame. I am ashamed of my country, ashamed of being Lebanese. This shame is growing by the day, exacerbated by the fake, smug, and holy stance that the Lebanese take on these and other matters.

Lebanese people are a friendly, welcoming, and humanitarian people. Or so would the media say. Of Course they do not tell you the whole story. I will stop here, too disgusted to continue writing.

Cruel Discussion and Modern Medicine

Overheard at the OPD Pediatrics Clinic between physician and a patient's mother.

Mother: What can we do Dr. N?

Dr. N: There is a new and effective drug for what your son has. But it's too expensive. Neither you nor I can afford it.

Mother: So what's the solution?

Dr. N: ..........................................

P.S. I will elaborate on the case soon.

The Snail

Shweifat, Lebanon - March 2010

"The snail he lives in his hard round house,

In the orchard, under the tree:

Says he, "I have but a single room;

But it's large enough for me."

The snail in his little house doth dwell

All the week from end to end,

You're at home, Master Snail;

that's all very well.

But you never receive a friend."

- Anonymous

It's back...

I just realized I had missed the winter! There's nothing better than holding a boiling hot cup of tea in front of the chimney in my room watching that insane november rain slither down the glass.
Ok so I don't really have a chimney in my room, but I definitely have a glass window! And a reasonably warm cup of tea. But hey, I can dream can't I??

Off to work now. We have a new team of residents/interns coming in today so I'm afraid It's gonna be a long one... Can't even start to imagine what traffic's gonna be like in this insane weather!
Have a good winter everyone!

Blind Item

Would you wonder what the hell is wrong with people?
When a fully equipped Emergency Exam Room in our proud ER is transformed into a waiting room to accommodate the tens of people, family/visitors that come in with the patient! Screw the monitors, screw the MedVac lines, and everything else of medical value, everything that could help save a life in an incoming emergency, because we need to get all these people out of the Doctors's way!! 8 brand new chairs in that room.
Only in Lebanon.

Did I mention the very comfortable, purpose-built waiting room exactly 10 meters away from that makeshift lounge? It's got a vending machine too!
I wonder...

Where Else?

Where else? Two cars parked bumper to bumper on the highway shoulder in the middle of an unlit, pitch dark 18-kilometer stretch of road between two 6-meter high concrete walls, that we affectionately call "Tarik el Matar" or "Road to the Airport". Between the two cars were a family or a group of friends (I couldn't stop and ask, after all...) peacefully chilling, smoking the nargileh (hubble bubble), popping fava beans and peas and crunching chips on a plastic picnic table. Peacefully, that is, with our notoriously well organized and safe traffic whizzing by at speeds in excess of 100 Km/h. Call that comfort and peace? What about safety? Traffic police? Common F***ing sense?? Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside these people's minds, but hey... Welcome to Lebanon right?

Time to reassess...

"The best things in life are free!" Really? Even for the 6 year old begger who stopped me today to ask for a sip of water from my bottle that had been simmering in the car for 2 days?!
All the feel good messages fly in pieces once you're confronted with the face of a sweet little girl, selling flowers on the road, anguishing in thirst and hunger, while you've been complaining about traffic and how you're never going to make it on time to catch that episode of "Ugly Betty" you've been waiting for... :"The best things in life are not to be taken for granted"!

Blind Item

When an immigrant worker goes looking through the garbage, a cell phone in hand... Only in Lebanon!