Is it just me, or...

Well it is obvious that everything in this country is getting more and more expensive by the day. Restaurants, Pubs, Night Clubs, Beach Resorts, nothing is spared from exorbitant prices rising at exorbitant rates. But what's been pissing me off lately is that as this happens there seems to be a concomitant slow but steady decline in the quality of all services provided! Here are a few things off the top of my head:

- The beiteddine festival: Have you ever bought a soggy, hyper-salted, minuscule Saj man'oushe for 7,000 LBP [~5 USD]? if you haven't, please take a long drive to Beiteddine and do so at the entrance, where the monopoly of saj has blown the prices right off the chart. And whether you like it or not, and no matter what you order, you are getting the "Amira" specialty man'oushe because the lady who makes them will MAKE you. just go there and you'll know what I'm talking about.

- Beach resorts: Jiyyeh and Jbeil alike, the amount that a nice enjoyable day at the beach will set you back is sizable! 20-30 $ entrance fee, 15-20 $ for a quick bite at their restaurants managed by some of the most incompetent people on the planet, you're talking at least 40 $ for some sun! More if you feel dehydrated and feel like getting a cold drink. Sun beds line the pools in almost all resorts and renting one will set you back another 20-30 $. Oh and did I mention the "bouncers" at the entrances? apparently they're concerned about the male:female ratio and won't let single or groups of men in... PLEASE! It's a !@#$ing beach resort!

- Restaurants: How much profit do you want to make? selling a 500 LBP bottle of w ater for 5,000 LBP is just ridiculous. Selling teabags for 7,000 LBP is even worse! We had dinner last night at Beib el Mina at Byblos. Some of the nice usual Lebanese mezze like Tabboule, Hummus and Baba Ghannouj, followed by fries and 3 fish dishes, with a few cokes and glasses of wine. Good food, good times, crappy service as usual. The bill? 850,000 LBP [566 USD] for 16 people. I didn't even feel like I'd just had a meal. Ridiculous. And it's like that everywhere.

- Pubs, Night Clubs: Always with the 30 - 40 $ minimum charge. Always with the dinner requirement to get a decent table. And most of them do not inform you until you receive the bill and can't believe your eyes because you've just had a 35 $ glass of Red Label, a 750-cL bottle of which costs no more than 13 bucks at your local minimarket! Did I say a glass of Red? I meant a glass of ice, with a scent of whiskey for you to fantasize over. That's not a night out, that's a JACK!

It seems to me that going out in Lebanon, especially this summer, has become more of a hassle than a pleasure. Factoring in the indescribable Lebanese traffic and all of its associated road rage, or the heat if you're unlucky enough not to have A/C in your car, followed by the ridiculous return you get on your hard earned money, I'm becoming more and more of a fan of house parties and dinners, and I cannot stand the sound of the word Jemmayze when my friends call me up to go for a drink...
Going to the beach is no better.

Sidewalk in Hamra

Hamra, Lebanon - June 2010

This is a response to "Sidewalk in Achrafieh" Posted on Blog Baladi a few days a go. I said I'd have a pic of sidewalks in Hamra for comparison... well here's what I was talking about...

Try negotiating the parked vehicles and avoiding the garbage juices on this lovely piece of Hamra property... Square footage pricing? Let's not mention that...

Stay tuned for sidewalks with construction material and bulldozers... Coming soon!

The Most Expensive Shawerma in Lebanon...

S. Told me about this place, and for hours before we even got close to that little corner of heaven, I was anticipating what it would be like. I know this is not new and that I haven't made a world-altering discovery, but it is the first time I've heard of it. 

It's called Shawerma 3al Fahem (Chargrilled Shawerma), and the name says it all... To the shawerma lovers who have not tried it yet, pack up and go right now I tell you!

It is right next to falafel Sahyoun on the street leading from Sodeco Square to Downtown beirut. 

So how was that sandwich? It was a costly one to say the least. This little taste of shawerma heaven, is gonna run you anywhere between 4,000 LBP and 80,000 LBP, plus a confiscated driver's licence... How?? 

Choose from the following items:

Item 1 -  The 50,000 LBP traffic ticket, if you're unfortunate enough (like I was) to be U-turning from the parallel street going the opposite way, and you somehow choose to make that illegal U-turn to save a few meters on your odometer, and a few precious moments of anticipation before you get there. Make sure you call that over-zealous cop, with his newly found preoccupation with our dear traffic system's proper functioning, greater good kind of stuff, and have him amicably fill out the paperwork and confiscate your driver's licence. He's sure to be there, in some wickedly strategic position, hunting for wrong-way outlaws!

Item 2 -  The 20,000 (is it more?) illegal LEGAL PARKING ticket: Now that you're done fighting with the officer that gave you the 50,000 LBP ticket, confiscated your licence, you have to find a parking spot. All you have to do is park right in front of the shawerma place. Now you have two options. Option A: to obtain item 2, all you have to do is park your car, shut your windows, lock your doors, and enjoy a happy shawerma meal. You will come back to find the item delivered. Option B: to avoid item two park your car, leave your windows open, and your blinkers on otherwise you will be smitten by the long arm of the law.

So ... for me it was item 1, plus 2 sandwiches (4,000 each, too small for just one to be enough!). Do the math. That's one expensive Shawerma place if you ask me! 

Worth every penny, but if you're not willing to pay this much, take the longer road, or don't drive there, and take care while parking! Cheers.

Get off the streets....!!! Another plea that no one will hear...

To all you ladies out there that cannot seem to find any time in your busy schedule to apply makeup that is more convenient and safe than while you're driving. To the beauties with freshly issued driver's licenses and brand new cars, and the less blessed and less fortunate Venuses driving your asses off into beautiful sunsets (or walls). Please, I implore you, TAKE A F!@#$%G CAB for the love of God!!!

I know that:
- 100% of feminists among you (women or men, weirdly enough; hey, you never know!)...
- 80-90% of women among you (see the remaining 10-20% below)...
- 1% of all men among you...
... will think I'm a sexist bastard who does not know what he's talking about. Well you would wouldn't you? Yeah...

But I also know that:
-10-20% of women among you...
-99% of all men among you...
... will think this is something everyone knows and that proper action needs to be taken to ensure everyone's (and that includes you ladies) safety.

Why? I don't know why. How come? I don't know how come. I don't know how, why, when, and with what twisted, insane, moronic agenda, nature simply decided that women would not get the driving genes. What matters is that She did. We've seen it all! The ones screaming into cell phones, those (classic) looking into the purposefully-readjusted rear-view mirror, thinking "Oh why is it that when I look into that thing, I see cars behind mine and not my beautiful face??" *tires screeching in background* Well they've dealt with that one!

Check out this video. Watch every second. It's just too funny, and says everything better than I can :D