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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Patient Insanities on 10 North... Have a Laugh

Well I figured it was about time I shared some more stories about our dear patients on the surgery rotation. Here are the three cases that spring to mind... Actually there's a fourth one, but she deserves a post of her own so come back soon ;)

The crazed grumpy old man on 10 North.
K.H. has been driving all the floor insane for about a week now. Anxiety attacks, flamboyant claims and accusations that make me wanna scream out in anger... To put things in perspective, one of his latest complaints was having a nurse that smiled too [damn] much!! He even told her that to her face! Hilarious and sad... The poor guy has been one of the most complicated medical cases we've seen so far, with several operations, intestinal leaks and what not... Understandable? Granted. But it is still annoying, and yet funny in a marginally twisted sense, if you see what I mean, to hear him complain about things the world of medicine has never known, like diarrhea caused by walking!!

[Note]: "Patient is not doing very well, complaining of general anxiety and unable to tolerate hospital stay. He is pain free and is refusing to take his anti-hypertensives and anxiolytics by mouth. He refuses to ambulate for fear of diarrhea." Making sense are we? LOL
[Plan]: "Start I.V. Lexotanil"

The nice and healthy middle aged Man on 9 South.
M.D. is A previously very healthy, strong man. After extensive surgery, he seems to be recovering nicely, and is happy to see me every time I walk into his room. Always a good sign to see a patient greet you with a smile. It is so rewarding and puts an inexperienced mini-physician such as yours truly at ease and makes the job that much easier. I walk into the room, M. smiles and brags about how well he's doing, is always anxious to show me how good his breathing is getting, or how comfortable his lazy-boy chair is, with its fancy electric recline and foot support functions. Me, smiling "I wish I had one of those at home, Mr. D!!" It has been a pleasure following this one up. He's staying till the end of the week.
[Note]: "Patient is doing very well, tolerating regular diet, passing stools and flatus, ambulating freely and using incentive spirometer as instructed. Bowel movements normal, no pain or discomfort reported upon defecation. Patient is pain free and has no new complaints. Plan for discharge soon."

The distant old lady on 10 North.
S.D. was a 70-something-year old lady we followed up for about a week, some few weeks ago. I had completely forgotten about her, until I met K.H.
She had her own set of problems, like being too good to look at us med students, or letting us examine her without her attitude, or having not one, but two of her private nurses in her room taking care of her and making our lives miserable... Case in point: M. my colleague was about to draw blood from S.D.'s arm. It was her first time doing that, and she was looking for the vein, taking her time to locate it with some degree of certainty. After all, you don't want to poke her majesty for nothing! Some odd 20 seconds later, S. just lost her patience (bear in mind that M. hadn't even picked up a syringe yet!) and with her face turned away from M., called her nurse and said: "ta3e shoufe hayde shou 3am ta3mel sarla se3a!!" Translation "come here and see what this one is doing, it's been an hour!" Priceless!!
[Note 1 ]: "Patient is pain free as confirmed by private nurse. She is non compliant and refused to be examined, claiming that the nurses already gave her a physical."
[Note 2 ]: "Patient is pain free as confirmed by private nurse. Physical exam not done because patient is sleeping"

And for the record, all that the nurses do is take temperature and blood pressure and stuff like that so...
Difficult patients are a real challenge! I still need to work on that area! Something about them shakes my confidence! But they're funny to tell your friends about!

S.D. and K.H. ? a match made in heaven! We couldn't help but try and imagine what these two would be like living together! Imagine the children!!!
Those of you calling out outrage, relax. We're not making fun of our patients. It's not like that. It's just that these few cases are too entertaining to forget. So we document them! See? it's a noble cause! But seriously, they all get the same respect and standard of care... Rightfully so!


Anonymous said...

Well....just to remind you and all the others, that the nurse does not only take vital signs and stuff like that.... they teach you how to write an order, and how to use some medications...

Le colleague said...

You misunderstood, and you're kinda missing the point of this post.
I was talking about her private nurses, not registered nurses. And even RNs don't do enough for us to follow up patients based on their feedback. No disrespect to nurses it's just how it is...

Anonymous said...

Dedicated to You My Friend...Some defenitions to keep up with.....

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more productive than a train
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Talks with GOD

Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with GOD if special request is approved

General Practitioner:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Is occasionally addressed by GOD

Barely clears a picket fence
Loses tug-of-war with a train
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Swims well
Talks with animals

Makes high skid marks on a wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a train
Is not issued ammunition
Dog paddles
Talks to walls

Med Student:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes a train 2 out of 3 times
Wets himslef with a water pistol
Cannot stay afloat without a life preserver
Mumbles to himself

Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks train off the track
Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them
Freezez water with a single glance

Le colleague said...

Funny stuff :) So I take it you're a nurse yourself...

Again: missing the point of the post. By miles.
Again: no disrespect to nurses.
Again: I don't see the reason behind your outrage lol lighten up.

Anonymous said...

Well I am an RN at the was nice to have that nice chat with u i meant nothing by what I said just hiek to chat....I am The Light!!!

Le colleague said...

So we're colleagues :) glad to see someone from AUH is reading! which floor?

Anonymous said...


Le colleague said...

was 10 N on surgery. Now internal med. BGUH.

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