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Sunday, March 15, 2009

I spoke too soon...

I felt it was too soon to celebrate. Too soon to speak, revel and bask. Almost 4 months and she went behind my back. She could not take it any longer and she went behind my back. I understand.
I had gotten her to stop and I was ecstatic. What a shame.

Now starting over from day one.

I feel gutted...

2 comments:

poshlemon said...

Oh my...

Well, it's still 4 months and counting. A bit of cheating here and there doesn't take away from 4 months of being 'clean' (though I have not cheat, I was very tempted and very close to cheating at times). So don't put it in her mind that she has thrown away 4 months. It is very defeatist and not quite encouraging if she wants to continue on her journey of being cigarette-free. So go back to her and tell her that it's okay if she cheated. That a few cigarettes don't take away the hard work of 4 months (around 2880 hrs). That as long as she learns a lesson out of this, then so what. BUT she must not cheat again.

Now to stop her from cheating again, I think she needs to visit a psychiatrist or psychologist who is specialized in the area of habit cessation. She needs therapy that teaches her to deal with this habit and its cessation and how to combat urges and temptations when they come her way. I didn't receive therapy for that because I did my own self-research and I prepared myself.

I, also, wanted to ask you... Does she really want to quit? Or is it something she feels she is driven to do by, say, you? This alone defines how she approaches her smoking cessation.

Sorry for the long comment. This is an issue so dear to me.

Le colleague said...

Hey posh. Well guess what.. I was waiting for your 'long comment' :)
I realize that the effort has been great. I agree with you, a few cigarettes don't negate that and I wouldn't undermine her efforts like that. I know better.
I was feeling very bad when I wrote the post, and that was right after getting the news so...
Now I'm doing my best to keep my cool. It seems to be working for now. What you suggested has already been said :)

She DOES want to quit. I can feel it. She really does. Her problem is stress, stress, and some more stress. Will consider therapy if this happens again.

Hope you're holding up ok. Best of luck with that.

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